Seattle came into town not having won a road game in two months. The poor guys finally got off to a good start and shot over 60% in the first half, yet they still trailed by eight at halftime. Facilitated by excellent team passing, the Rockets used a barrage of three-pointers to separate themselves from the high-energy Sonics.

The Rockets finished the first half with 17 assists–only four shy of the team’s per game average. All five starters, including the often bungling Mutombo, had registered multiple assists by halftime.

After holding their last three opponents to an average of 79.3 points per game, the Rockets gave up 102 points tonight. The Rockets have shown some versatility this year, proving they can play uptempo basketball if need be. On nights like this we wish Fox Sports had a Jeff Van Gundy heart rate monitor it could add to the top corner of the screen. What’s that beeping, the shot clock expiring? No, that’s just Van Gundy’s pulse hitting 185 on the fast break.

Deke scored the Rockets’ first six points of the second half as he and Ray Allen dueled it out in a shoot-out to start the third. As much as we respect Mutombo, we don’t like those odds.

Former Seattle forward/current assistant coach/and past-and-future little bitch Detlef Schrempf was on the bench for the Sonics. We’re not sure exactly what he does for the team, but as the camera panned across his ugly German mug, we could tell he was wondering what he could do in an NBA that has gotten rid of the illegal defense violation. Not that the referees ever whistled him for it when he played.

Bonzi Wells did a little of everything tonight, including trying to take a charge on Ray Allen in the second quarter. Attaboy, Bonzi. Hitting the deck once or twice a game is the best way to solidify your spot in Jeff Van Gundy’s rotation. Just ask Ryan Bowen.

Bonzi’s happy day was interrupted when he was whistled for a technical foul in the third quarter. The Bonz, in typical cool-cat fashion, tossed the ball at the back of Nick Collison’s head after getting fouled by three Sonics on a pump fake. It wasn’t malicious at all, just a kneejerk reaction by a man who had a ball in his hands and didn’t know what to do with it. We would have been more impressed if Collison had dispensed an icy bottle of Coca-Cola after being struck by the Bonz, but we don’t want to get greedy.

Is anyone else wondering when Kia is going to run out of those 2006 models? They’ve been singing goodbye to that surplus for the last three months. Adieu, sanity.

After faking Frenchman Mickael Gelebale out of his jock, Tracy McGrady moved back to the Rockets bench looking extremely impressed by himself. And we can’t really argue. T-Mac finished with 36 points and nine assists, making just about every big play down the stretch to lead the team to victory.

There’s nothing wrong with a little TCB, but it’s damning for a blog. Our boys came out and hit threes, rebounded well, took charges, and simply played that winning brand of Rocket basketball that we’re surprisingly becoming accustomed to. When everything is in tune, there’s not much to write about. So if you’re not entertained, blame McGrady and the Baselines.

Bill Worrell: “Andre Egadoola is quite a player.” Clyde corrected Worrell’s pronunciation immediately after the slip. That was a blessing in that we didn’t have to listen to Worrell butcher Andre’s name all night, but it was also a curse in that we didn’t get to listen to Worrell butcher Andre’s name all night.

Philadelphia’s Andre Egadoola scored 19 points in the game. Egoldilia also played a little point guard, recording four assists while running the Sixers offense. Once considered a defensive specialist, Equalideela added two steals in the contest. Iguanadoola missed all three of his 3-point attempts.

Every promo for the upcoming annual “Rockets Run” leads to a five-minute conversation joking about Bill Worrell getting his old ass out there. These jokes weren’t even funny when they first started. Five years ago.

For the third consecutive game, the Rockets held their opponents to 30-something points in the first half. Maybe preaching defense is effective after all.

Tonight was the much-anticipated Rockets Power Dancers calendar night. Not surprisingly, the night the Rockets handed out free pictures of mostly naked women was also the night when the lines for the men’s bathroom stalls were winding down the concourse.

Based on Drexler’s impersonations (we know, that’s a dangerous phrase right there), Dikembe Mutombo and Hakeem Olajuwon are the same person. And that person is Jamaican. And he has like a jillion career blocked shots.

Juwan Howard had a ridiculously quiet 20 points, 10 rebounds and six assists. His performance was so unheralded, in fact, that we’re inclined to believe that there must have been some sort of statistician’s error. It’s very possible that the official scorekeeper took a page out of Clyde’s book and thought that Howard and Chuck Hayes were the same player.

The Rockets reserves, except for the unruly Greek, saw action early in the fourth quarter for a change. This must have been a bittersweet feeling for Steve Novak. He finally gets a decent stretch of minutes, but he spends the majority of them open in the corner while Lucas shoots floaters and Bonzi tries to get back in shape.

Floaters should be based on circumstance, they shouldn’t be your primary offensive option. Unfortunately, it seems to be The Third’s first option, with passing ranking about sixth on the list.

We were surprised to hear Clyde and Worrell heap praise on Portland’s Zach Randolph. They went as far as to say he should be Yao Ming’s All-Star game replacement. The fact that Randolph is being accepted by the league’s old guard is evidence of how far he’s come since the days when he and running mate Bonzi Wells ran amok in Portland and NBA cities across the country. We couldn’t help but fear a relapse with the two on the court tonight, but each player was a perfect gentleman. Surprisingly, Bonzi got the better of Randolph tonight, scoring 14 points and grabbing seven rebounds in 24 minutes.

After Juwan Howard suffered a wrist injury and was forced to the bench in the first quarter, Clyde said, “I always say ‘You know when a guy’s in a lot of pain? When they’re sweating profusely!’ By Drexler’s estimation, every single player on the floor is suffering from some serious medical issues. That might be true for the Rockets, but we doubt that every sweaty man out there is critically injured.

Sideline reporter Patti Smith got a halftime interview with the elusive assistant coach Tom Thibodeau. What, was Charlie Ward predisposed?

Chuck Hayes, a man whose name we haven’t mentioned since he broke Yao’s leg on December 23, 2006, finally made it back on the blog. Chuckster pulled down seven offensive rebounds and did good defense work on a very frustrated Zach Randolph. Hayes set a career high with four assists and tied his career high with 10 shot attempts. Coincidentally, he also tied his career mark in airballs.

Much to our delight, Bonzi Wells looked great playing alongside McGrady. As the Blazers aggressively double-teamed T-Mac in the second quarter, Bonzi ran to all the right spots and took the ball strong to the basket a number of times. We hope this will lead to some regular minutes with the first squad, but Van Gundy is assuredly not going to cave that easily.

Speaking of which, here’s tonight’s hypothetical exchange, as mandated by Van Gundy’s new policy to talk to his players:

JVG: Decent game, 6.
Bonzi: Go to hell, baldy.

Deke picked up an offensive foul after grabbing a defensive board because Martell Webster ran under his elbows. Nobody lost an eyeball, but it probably wasn’t the smartest thing the second-year player has done. Dikembe summed it up best when he said, “You don’t run to the train, you run away from the train.”

The Rockets had 36 points at halftime for the second consecutive game.

Despite holding the Blazers to 34 points in the first half, Bonzi said after the game that Jeff Van Gundy was really “preaching defense” in the locker room at halftime. Portland had 14 points in the second quarter, and Reverend Van Gundy delivers a sermon demanding more defense?! He won’t be satisfied until the Rockets win a game 12 to negative 7.