Carlos Boozer’s big night took a backseat to his massive eyebrows, which nearly devoured sideline reporter Craig Sager the other night. This guy honestly looks like he’s got three mustaches on his face. Luther Head, meanwhile, is struggling to maintain one. These two should get together to find some middle ground.

The man who’s so fragile that referees won’t even whistle him for goaltending failed to redeem himself with a solid effort in Game Two. To make things worse, his wife further emasculated him by making excuses for his poor play in the local media. According to the future ex Mrs. Kirilenko, a language barrier impedes Andrei from understanding his coach, and because of this, he now sucks at basketball.

Not that we’d expect a former pop-star to formulate a well-constructed argument, but we didn’t have to look too far to find a flaw in the wife’s logic. And his name is Van Chancellor. He coached the Comets to three straight championships, and we guarantee you those ladies couldn’t understand half of his Mississippi brand of English.

Mehmet Okur, whose English is also spotty but whose wife is sensible, is 4-for-23 so far in this series. In six games against the Rockets this year, the All-Star is shooting 28.8 percent.

The Rockets have struggled in playoff games in Salt Lake City, but perhaps the worst name change in the history of stadium name changes will help them overcome their Delta Center curse. When Delta’s lease ran out, the Jazz sold the naming rights to EnergySolutions, a nuclear waste management company that calls the stadium EnergySolutions Arena. Who wouldn’t love to eat a hot dog at a building named for a company that lists fuel sludge treatment and radioactive waste processing as its specialties? While the services the company provides may be suspect, at least the name rolls right off the tongue.